ChicGeek Designs

Boots: DSW, Skirt: Banana, Pink Shirt: Loft, Black Sweater: Banana

Pictures by my hubby. He did a good job, didn’t he? I’m breaking him in slowly so I only made him take a few. Who knew I could stand so awkward for a photo taken by Hubby? Haha.

I’ve been thinking a lot about appearances this week as I’ve been struggling with my own. So let’s chat. Why are we as women so hard on ourselves about our appearance? I don’t even need to compare myself with others, I just compare myself to what I use to be or what I could be. I’ve put on weight since being sick and not having the energy to work-out. I’m unhappy with this as much of my closet is one size and I’m another now. I had to try on skirt and dress one after another to find something to fit to wear to church on Sunday. What a way to start the morning. My face has broken out so bad I don’t want to go into public. Thankfully I’m going to dermatologist tomorrow to hopefully figure out the problem, again. But is what I see in the mirror the same thing that other people see? Maybe not. Maybe so. But why do I care so much? Why am I so insecure? Shall we blame society? It is because I’m my mother’s child? Is it passed on from generation to generation?

I started (using that term loosely because I only made it through the preface) of a book my mom left me this weekend called “You’re Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation” by Deborah Tannen. My mom and I thought this book was perfect just by the title – we had too many of those “fights” over clothes when I was a teen-ager. So mom got the book, read it and left it for me. She claims she did everything wrong as a mother after reading the book. (As a good daughter, I agreed. ) In just reading the Introduction, Deborah Tannen says that one of the Big Three things that mothers criticize in their daughters is their appearance. There are many examples of mother’s commenting on their daughter’s zits, weight, hair and just general appearance. I can say with certainty, that my mother never criticized my face, weight, or how I looked in general, just what I was wearing (criticizing might be harsh for my clothing. Questioning, maybe?). And for that I am very thankful as I might have crumbled.

That leaves the question still open – why am I so hard on myself and my appearance? I know I’m not the only one that struggles with this. Tell me your thoughts….